6 tips for having sex when it’s hot out, including ice cubes, showers, and cotton sheets
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- Summer heat can put a huge damper on your sex life, especially if you and your partner are sweat-averse.
- Insider spoke to five sexologists and sex therapists on how to keep cool while getting steamy in the summertime.
- Cranking the A/C unit or central air might be your first instinct to deal with the heat, but positioning a fan above you or having sex on cooler surfaces like shower tile, kitchen counters, and washing machines can also help.
- Changing your outlook on sweat and body odor can also improve your sex life in the summer.
Sex in the summertime can be a sticky disaster if you’re averse to sweat, body odor, and heat.
Though not everyone’s libido takes a hit, the heat can make couples more reluctant to get it on and even make it more difficult to cuddle.
“Vigorous sex can be a cardiovascular workout in and of itself, so sex in hot weather can be as challenging on the body as going for a run, for instance,” Yvonne K. Fulbright, a sexuality educator & author, told Insider. “Lovers may also be more self-conscious about being sweatier, stickier and smellier than normal, including in their groin area. Body ‘farts’ from the wetness may also be a consequence, as bodies rub together, and a humorous distraction.”
Insider spoke to five sex therapists and sexologists for their best tips on having comfortable sex in hot weather.
Take a shower before you have sex. If you try shower sex, be sure to use hand grips.
Psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Stephanie Buehler told Insider taking a lukewarm shower and patting down with a towel before having sex can help keep you cool while getting down and dirty.
If you have good balance, consider have shower sex.
“They make hand grips and foot shelves to make it possible,” Buehler told Insider. “If you’re both smaller in stature, you can try the tub.”
Position a fan over yourself to get some cool air blowing.
Running an air-conditioning unit can also help cool you down.
“Speaking from personal experience, if you are able, get solar and run your A/C with abandon,” Buehler told Insider.
But if you’re trying to save money, getting a small fan and positioning it strategically can be a great alternative.
“Position a fan so that it blows on you, as the cooling effect will bring your skin to life in a totally different way, [like] some lovers experiencing harder nipples,” Fulbright said. “Having the fan blow on your bottoms in certain positions [like] doggie style will have you experiencing sex in a noticeably different, but delightfully pleasurable way.”
Change your sheets once a week and make sure they’re pure cotton. Consider buying a bigger bed if it’s still too hot.
Dr. Tammy Nelson, a sex and couples therapist and author of “Getting the Sex You Want,” told Insider the types of sheets you use during sex can actually be making you hotter. To avoid any unnecessary sweating, make sure to use pure cotton sheets.
“It’s [also] important to change your sheets weekly,” Amanda Pasciucco, a sexologist and sex therapist based in Hartford, told Insider. “Buy a sex blanket or use a towel to have close by!”
If changing your sheets isn’t helping, Pasciucco said it might be time to consider buying a bigger bed.
“I realize that those who have more space are often more comfortable. Especially if one tends to run hot, it gives them connection,” Pasciucco told Insider. What I notice for those who share a queen is that one partner will go to a different bedroom and that ends up causing a disconnect erotically for the couple.”
Try different sex positions that reduce skin to skin contact.
A lot of the stress that comes with summertime sex comes from the amount of sex and body heat exchanged when getting intimate. Different sex positions could help limit that contact while keeping things pleasurable.
“Try some positions where your bodies are not directly touching as much like from behind or off the side of the bed,” Dr. Rachel Needle, a psychologist and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, told Insider. “The less your bodies touch, the cooler you will be.”
Doggie style, fisting, and ride style positions can all help you get around the heat.
Consider rubbing ice cubes on your partner’s body to cool them down, or having sex on cool surfaces like the laundry machine or kitchen counter.
Cold props and toys can offer fun sensations with while helping you and your partner (or partners) cool down.
“Rub ice cubes all over each other’s bodies to cool things off,” Needle said. “You can use cold items like ice creatively to increase pleasure and comfort.”
If you’re feeling particularly adventurous and the bedroom is simply too hot, trying out different surfaces around the house that are cooler to the touch can help.
“Find other places in your home and try new sexual positions, ones where you won’t have as much skin to skin contact,” Nelson told Insider. “For instance, standing up against counters in a kitchen or bathroom or up against washers or dryers in a laundry room. The stainless steel or granite can be cooler against your skin.”
If you live with roommates, make sure to ask before going ahead and disinfect the surface when you’re done.
Encourage mutual masturbation and solo sex.
“Talking sexy to each other, having phone sex, masturbating each other, or in front of each other can bring on less heat and be fun,” Needle said.
A remote control vibrator could also provide no-contact fun.
Take advantage of the cooler temperatures at dawn and dusk and try morning sex or evening sex.
Strategically taking advantage of colder temperatures can also help you prevail against the humidity and heat.
“Try sex in the early morning or late evening when the days and nights are cooler,” Nelson said.
Challenge your mindset on sweat and body odor.
“Let yourself enjoy the fact that you’re sticking together and rubbing against each other in a different way — and perhaps feeling more as ‘one’ in the process,” Fulbright told Insider. “Consider any scents all the more primal.”
“Finally, think about how Hollywood has portrayed sweaty sex as sexy — and that you, too, can look sexy dripping, glistening, panting, anticipating, and wanting more,” Fulbright said.