My Husband Has Been Cheating for Years. What Do I Do?
Pausing to take a breath and reflect is step one, say the experts
By
Ellen Uzelac,
AARP
Published May 22, 2025
Finding out about infidelity can be devastating. But these tips can help you make a level-headed decision about how to move forward.
Kiersten Essenpreis
This is a tough one. Decades into her marriage, a woman learns that her husband is a serial cheater. Does she stay? Does she leave? Our sexuality experts suggest next steps.
My husband and I have been married for 30 years, and I just found out that he’s cheated on me with multiple women. Granted, our sex life has always been lackluster for both of us. But seriously? What do I do? How do I move on?
Before you move forward, give yourself time to just be. After a betrayal like this, the first step isn’t about making big decisions but taking care of yourself emotionally, says psychologist Rachel Needle, co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, a continuing education company in West Palm Beach, Florida, that trains couples and sex therapists around the world.
“It’s OK if you don’t know exactly what to do yet,” Needle says. “Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling without rushing into action or putting pressure on yourself to have it all figured out.”
